Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Back home - SH4SC check in

Good to be home. My mom's funeral was amazing. First, on Friday morning, the immediate family had a private ceremony at the mausoleum to commit her ashes. We learned a new word - inurnment vs interment when it's a burial. All weekend was beautiful and sunny, just like Mom. We had some family and friends come from out of town. It was a wonderful celebration of a life that affected many. You can read her obituary on her Caring Bridge site.

The service on Sunday afternoon was fully packed at Mom & Dad's church. Well over 200 people attended and they had to put extra chairs up in the back, on the sides and in the aisles. We had 3 full pews for family and the dear friends who traveled from Iowa. It was a very nice service with Mom's favorite hymns. After the service, we stood in a receiving line in the fellowship hall for a full 45 minutes. Several of her older friends couldn't stand in line that long so didn't come through the line, so that was probably a blessing for us, especially my feet in new shoes! We received many nice flower arrangements and many, many cards and memorials. Dad continues to get several cards every day.

My husband and I would walk from the house where we were staying to Dad's every morning, 1.7 miles took around 30 minutes, so I did keep up some activity and did pretty well with my eating except for the night of the funeral and a close encounter with a bag of kettle cooked sea salt chips and a few cookies. Couldn't seem to stop myself, but I'm not kicking myself over it. I think emotional eating is allowed during some difficult times. :-/ I was really proud of myself eating healthy during the travel back and forth to Arkansas. My son and I drove back last night and got home at 3am. I had a cleaning crew come at 9am, I went back to bed for a few hours and I'm thrilled to have a clean house now! My hubby turns 50 on the 1st, so we've got a big party planned for that. Whew! I was surprised that my weight was up only one pound from last week (185 this morning) and I haven't really readjusted after travel, so I'm sure I'll be back in the game next week. The scale at the house where we were staying kept saying 175 and I KNEW that couldn't be right. My dad's digital scaled ranged from 176-184, so I wasn't ready to count anything until I got back to my own scale.

I stayed an extra day to help my sisters go through Mom's clothes and jewelry so Dad wouldn't have to worry about that kind of stuff. It was emotional, but also filled with happy reminiscences. We were grateful we had the past 5 months and we know that the process would have been much more difficult if Mom had passed in November as all the doctors expected she would. We all had a chance to spend time with her recently. God is good. And Mom constantly reflected the love of Jesus and affected all who knew her. She had a daycare in her home for 19 years before she retired and some of those at the funeral were kids she'd kept when they were little. One thing my aunt said was "I wish people would stop saying 'Sorry for your loss.' We didn't lose her, we know exactly where she is and we'll see her again!" So I started telling people that while still in the receiving line. :-D And when people would mention how much they enjoyed her cinnamon rolls, I let the secret out that it's Dad who has been making them for YEARS, but Mom always got the credit. LOL

Now, I need to get off my butt and get sewing. I'm supposed to make skirt overlays for those of us dancing the waltz in the showcase this weekend!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic week.

Oh, and this happening right before Mother's Day with all of the ads and focus in the stores being on gifts for mom - definitely not helping the occasional overwhelming moments of grief and missing her! :-(


Scale Junkie said...

I looked at your Mom's Caring Bridge site and the photo labeled as "Mom's favorite" is my favorite too. What a beautiful tribute.

You've been on my mind all week and know I'm still sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Melisa said...

Sounds like a beautiful tribute was had for your mother and her wonderful life.

I agree in part with the thought that our loved ones are not lost...we know where they are but its the lack of physical presence that we mourn. I will pray peace for you during this difficult time and especially on Mothers Day.

Kyle and Darci said...

Glad to hear you made it back safe and sound and that everything went well. sounds like it was a nice "celebration of life"...and I agree with on that you didn't "lose" your Mom! Isn't is so comforting to know that you will see her again!

Sending warm thoughts and hugs your way!

momluvs2scrap said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mom was one special lady.


MargieAnne said...

I understand how you must feel when people say sorry.

While it is sad for you all, you know she is out of pain and the waiting time is complete.

It's more of a new beginning .... learning to live without her and being there for your Dad to help fill some of the loneliness and sadness for him.

I think people don't know what to say but I remember finding it hard to be gracious sometimes when people were gushingly sympathetic.

What a wonderful service, tribute and family and friends you have.


PS don't be surprised when emotions hit you suddenly, as though they have come out of the blue. I found I could be going about my normal business when suddenly there would be a trigger of grief/sadness and I'd be all over the place emotionally.


Anonymous said...

Sending hugs and prayers your way...

Mrs. Sheila said...

Glad you are back! Praying for you during this difficult time!

Sahar said...

Your mom sounds like a wonderful soul! God bless her.

GF said...

Glad you made it home and have things to keep you busy.

More importantly, thankful for supportive family to help you through this difficult time.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry your Mom passed away. I am sending my love and prayers your way.

Mrs. Sheila said...

Week 4 stats are posted!

ani pesto said...

Sounds like a beautiful tribute. It must be such a difficult time for you, such mixed feelings, it must be a blessing to have faith like that.
Take care xx

Cammy said...

A beautiful tribute to a woman who was loved by many.